Blood-Covered Man Bites Woman’s Head

Eating people is all the rage these days and 20 year-old Richard Cimino Jr. just wanted to be a part of all the fun! The Pennsylvania man was arrested by police after (allegedly) chewing on the head of a female. Oh, and he was naked too. Of course! Why risk getting all that blood on a perfectly fine pair of pants?

The newest zombie-attack happened this morning, Friday, September 14, in Hawley, PA. The gentleman apparently decided to park his car on the side of the road and strip to his skivies while simultaneously “screaming like an animal.” When police arrived to the scene, they were forced to use stun guns to subdue him.

Before the attacks, Cimino attempted to break into a home but was chased away by the owner. When that break-in failed, he broke into a vacant home where he got into his birthday suit and lept from the 2nd floor window. I guess stairs are overrated.

Police speculate that he suffered injuries from the jump, explaining that he was covered in blood. After his mad dash from the house, he spotted 2 females and decided to attack one of them. When officials arrived to the scene, Cimino continued to be belligerent and punched a medic in the face. After taking the crazed man down, he was sent to Geisinger Community Medical Center in Scranton for an evaluation.

Somewhere Ronald Poppo is muttering, “My face was eaten off before it was cool.”