Zombie Outbreak in Miami

The zombie apocalypse has finally begun, folks. We all knew it was inevitable–at least, I did–we just didn’t think that it would start so soon. I guess that’s how these disasters and outbreaks usually happen though, right? The chaos broke out Saturday, May 26, in Miami when a naked man was shot after eating the face of another person. Welp, I guess it’s time to gather my zombie survival group together!

The Miami Herald reported that around 2pm Saturday, shots were heard after a women flagged down an officer regarding two men fighting with each other outside of their offices. According to witnesses, the attacker was a naked man who was mauling the victim.

Witnesses told reporters that the officer ordered the attacker to back away and when he ignored the warnings he was shot. The attacker continued to eat the victim despite being shot, resulting in the officer firing several more rounds before finally killing the naked man. The victim was then flown to Jackson Memorial Hospital Ryder Trauma Center for critical injuries.

Following the incident, Armando Aguilar of the Fraternal Order of the Miami Police, made a statement regarding the case. He stated that when the officer ordered the attacker to stop, the attacker growled and continued to eat the man. The attacker feasted on the victim’s nose and eyeballs (WTF?!) and the officer was forced to shoot him several times until he was dead.

Okay, so it’s not exactly the start of a zombie apocalypse but it sounds pretty damn close. The attacker fit the description of a zombie, minus the dead part, but he got the whole cannibalism thing down pact. Plus, it took several bullets before he actually died and the fatal shot was probably one to the head. In my opinion, that’s a zombie!

Deep down, some part of me really wants a zombie apocalypse to start–we need to wipe off all the worthless shlubs that are currently wasting our air space one way or the other. And I know zombies like it’s my job–I’m pretty sure I could survive.

I guess now I’ll just have to patiently wait for the next odd case to pop up. In the meantime, I will be preparing my survival kit.


  1. Real Queen of Horror

    I heard about this! i thought it was insane and kinda sad! Poor bum man…a man was eating him alive. 😡 He definitely sounds like a zombie to me! I'm with you and preparing my survival kit. In my apartment, I'm on the third floor, I think I should get some rope.

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